Chayei Sarah Themes Conversation

Theme 1—the Art of the Deal

Discussion

1. Describe a business deal that you read about or made recently. To what extent was it successful?
2. Did you ever try to haggle with someone to get them to lower their price? If so, describe what you haggled for and how you went about haggling?

Text

1. Summarize the stages in the negotiations between Avraham and the Hittites.
2. Who do you think was the better negotiator and who do you think got the better deal?
3. To what extent would you have negotiated the deal differently?

Quotes

1. “Let us never negotiate out of fear. But let us never fear to negotiate” (John F. Kennedy).
2. “Power is based on perception. If you think you got it, you got it, even if you don’t got it” ( Herb Cohen).
3. “The worst thing you can possibly do in a deal is seem desperate to make it. That makes the other guy smell blood, and then you’re dead” (Donald Trump).
4. “You can’t make a good deal with a bad person” (Warren Buffet).
5. “It’s well known in the negotiating world that the party who enters the negotiation most prepared is far more likely to walk away with the better deal. Information is power” (J. Scott).

Theme 2—Going on a Mission

Discussion

1. Have you, or someone you know ever been sent on a mission? If so, to where and for what purpose?
2. Are there missions you would like to join? If so, what are they and what is it that excites you about these missions?

Text

1. Describe the mission that Avraham assigned to his servant and how he went about doing it.
2. Why didn’t Yitzchak himself go on this mission?
3. To what extent, if at all, might you have done this mission differently?

Quotes

1. “וַיֹּ֤אמֶר יְהֹוָה֙ אֶל־אַבְרָ֔ם לֶךְ־לְךָ֛ מֵאַרְצְךָ֥ וּמִמּֽוֹלַדְתְּךָ֖ וּמִבֵּ֣ית אָבִ֑יךָ אֶל־הָאָ֖רֶץ אֲשֶׁ֥ר אַרְאֶֽךָּ׃” (בראשית יב, א).
2. “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals” (Zig Ziglar).
3. “Make your life a mission – not an intermission” (Arnold H. Glasgow).
4. “How do you know if your mission in life is finished? If you’re still alive, it isn’t” (Richard Bach).
5. “Once you know what it is in life that you want to do, then the world basically becomes your library” (Kobe Bryant).

Theme 3—Matchmaking

Discussion

1. How did your parents meet?
2. What are some of the qualities you would want in a girlfriend/boyfriend?
3. Do you believe in love at first sight? Why or why not?

Text

1. How did Avraham’s servant go about finding the right match? What do you think of his approach?
2. What would determine whether the servant’s matchmaking efforts were successful?

Quotes

1. “In order to create the relationship that you’re dreaming of you need to first start from the inside and work your way out” (Jeanine Staples).
2. “Love is what you find when you stop searching and instead focus on becoming the best YOU that you can be” (Charles Orlando).
3. “הקדוש ברוך הוא יושב ומזווג זיווגים” (בראשית רבה סח, ד).
4. “אָמַר רַבָּה בַּר בַּר חָנָה אָמַר רַבִּי יוֹחָנָן וְקָשִׁין לְזַוְּוגָן כִּקְרִיעַת יַם סוּף” (סוטה ב ע”א).
5. “אָמַר רַב יְהוּדָה אָמַר רַב: אַרְבָּעִים יוֹם קוֹדֶם יְצִירַת הַוָּלָד בַּת קוֹל יוֹצֵאת וְאוֹמֶרֶת בַּת פְּלוֹנִי לִפְלוֹנִי” (סוטה ב ע”א).

Theme 4—Chesed

Discussion

1. Who are some acts of chesed you, or people you know, are doing?
2. What are some acts of chesed you would like to do in the future?

Text

1. What was the chesed test that Avraham’s servant had in mind for a prospective bride for Yitzchak?
2. Would you have created a different test? If so, what would it have been?
3. To what extent did Rivka pass, or even exceed, the test?

Quotes

1. “אֵשֶׁת-חַיִל, מִי יִמְצָא; … פִּיהָ, פָּתְחָה בְחָכְמָה; וְתוֹרַת חֶסֶד, עַל-לְשׁוֹנָהּ” (משלי לא)
2. “על שלושה דברים העולם עומד: על התורה ועל העבודה ועל גמילות חסדים.” (אבות א, ב (
3. “Kindness is more important than wisdom, and the recognition of this is the beginning of wisdom” (Theodore Isaac Rubin).
4. “The best portion of a good man’s life is his little, nameless, unremembered acts of kindness and of love” (William Wordsworth).
5. “Together we can change the world, just one random act of kindness at a time” (Ron Hall).

Theme 5—Do Things Happen for A Reason?

Discussion

1. What are some unusual things that happened to you? Do you think they were mere coincidences, or did they happen for a reason?
2. To what extent, if at all, do you think that God plays a role in the things that happen in our lives?

Text                                                                                           

1. What did Avraham’s servant pray for? Do you think his prayer was answered?
2. Do you think you would have attributed the circumstances of the story to God? Why or why not?
3. Who else in the Torah acknowledged that God was working behind the scenes to make things happen?

Quotes

1. “תנא משמיה דר’ עקיבא לעולם יהא אדם רגיל לומר כל דעביד רחמנא לטב עביד” (ברכות ס ע”ב).
2. “Sometimes it takes a wrong turn to get you to the right place” (Mandy Hale).
3. “Trust that everything happen for a reason even if we are not wise enough to see it” (Oprah Winfrey).
4. “Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come” (John Spence).
5. “It’s true that everything happens for a reason, but it is always our responsibility to choose the reasons” (Hal Elrod).